College Announces New Graduation Requirement Mandating All Students Memorize the Gettysburg Address
By Vince DiFonzo, Staff Writer Four score and seven minutes ago, President Bob Iuliano sent a campus-wide email outlining a new requirement that students must memorize and recite the entire Gettysburg Address to graduate. This new requirement will be enforced beginning with the Class of 2024 this semester. The College also announced that the entire Gettysburg Address will be included in every future student digest email. In order to...
Marshmello to DJ at PDT
By Kenzie Smith, Arts & Entertainment Editor The rumor has officially been confirmed: Phi Delta Theta (PDT) will be hosting Marshmello in two weeks. There has been an excited buzz throughout the student body at the broadcast of this information. “You’re definitely gonna see me there,” Marley Foor ’24 said Another student Lisa Baker ’26 commented, “They will finally play some good music.” There have also been questions as to how...
Gettysburg Smoothie Co. Will Only Serve “Conse-Quench”
By Cassidy Haines, Social Media Manager Over the weekend, administrators announced that the Jaeger Center location of Gettysburg Smoothie Co. will be reducing the options on its menu in favor of the College’s newest project: launching a new natural carbonated drink and slushy called “Conse-Quench.” Replacing the fresh fruit and açai bowl choices with flavored, sometimes carbonated ice and water was a decision inspired by the...
Breaking: Students Wearing Military Uniforms Around Campus Learn that the War is Over
By Arty Fischel On Saturday April 1st, Gettysburg College President Robert Iuliano announced to the campus community that both the Union and Confederacy had reached an agreement for a peaceful resolution following last week’s conclusion of the Halal Cart Accords. When asked for a comment, one veteran of the Battle for a Constitution Lot Parking Spot stated “in my mind, there’s still a war going on.” Still mourning the loss of his...
EI To Hold Authoritarian Week to Broaden Student Minds
Staff Report In an effort to increase diversity of thought and perspective on campus, the Eisenhower Institute announced their newest week of programming: Authoritarian Week. “There’s good people on both sides,” said one worker at EI. “We just want the students to experience all kinds of government. Maybe they’ll find that what they see isn’t so bad.” The programming includes a secret keynote speaker from a country that might be at...
Gettysburg College Rents Out Residence Halls as Airbnbs for the Upcoming Summer Months
By Lauren Chu, Social Media Manager An exclusive Gettysburgian report has revealed that by June 2023, Gettysburg College will begin renting out campus residence halls as Airbnb rentals. President Iuliano addressed this matter in a recent campus-wide email. “Following the Spring 2023 semester, campus residence halls will be transformed into Airbnb rentals in the summer. This decision addressed the low occupancy rates we typically...
