Review: Lincoln Diner Oyster Sandwich
By Blake Dudley, Contributing Writer As a food critic one does not eat, we simply taste. A bite of food is not something to be hastily swallowed but rather slowly enjoyed. Like sitting in a symphony hall, the duty of a critic is merely to sit back and let the process take over them and allow the emotions and spirit of the food to guide their taste buds. The other day I strolled into the fine dining establishment known as the Lincoln...
Bubonic Plague Case Detected Originating from SNU Darty
By Alli Dayton, Managing Editor On Monday, an email from President Bob Iuliano to the campus community informed students of a bubonic plague case being detected at Gettysburg College. According to the email, students should be aware of bubonic plague symptoms including fever, headache, chills, and hallucinations of dead Civil War soldiers. The student who contracted the bubonic plague has been quarantined off-campus. Iuliano said that...
Student Senate to Advise the Actual Senate
By Katie Oglesby, Editor-in-Chief The president of Student Senate reached out to The Gettysburgian with a particularly interesting story this week: the United States Senate called her to ask for their help and advice on how to get members to be respectful. Student Senate President Jane Smith ’23 said, “I wasn’t surprised to get the call. It was only a matter of time before Congress realized how great we are at handling impeachments...
Breaking: President Iuliano Offered Book Deal Following Recent Set of Emails
By Laken Franchetti, News Editor College President Bob Iuliano has been given a book deal from the publishing company Simon & Schuster. Iuliano will write a series of three books, and the first is said to be titled “The Guide to a Consequential Education.” Simon & Schuster President Jonathan Karp expressed his excitement at the book deal. “I am thrilled to say that Bob has joined the Simon & Schuster family,” Karp said. “I...
Electric Scootering to Become Newest Varsity Sport
By Jack Herr, Sports Editor After years of petitioning from the student body, the alumni network, and the Gettysburg community at large, the College will finally feature a varsity electric scootering team, who will play in their inaugural season in fall 2023. This announcement comes amidst a wave of other Centennial Conference schools adding electric scootering to their roster of varsity sports. Gettysburg will play their rival...
PoliSci Dept Offers New Class More Diverse Than Constitutional Convention (April Fools)
By Carl DeMarco, Contributing Writer This year, the Gettysburg College Political Science Department began offering a new class, designed to enlighten and educate the students of Gettysburg College on the history of race, diversity, and political theory. One would expect to find it filled with students of various races, genders, and religious backgrounds, right? Well, think again! Of the 16 students in the classroom, 9 of them are...
