April Fools: boB Spotted Using iGrad to Manage the College’s Finances
Apr01

April Fools: boB Spotted Using iGrad to Manage the College’s Finances

By Benjamin Pontz, Editor-in-Chief When a team focused on student retention rolled out a new financial literacy platform called iGrad last month, they thought it would be useful for students in need of a loan, an interest rate calculator, or help finding scholarships. As part of the Charting Your Course (CYC) extended orientation program, first-year students were asked to create a profile and take a Financial Wellness Checkup....

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April Fools: JMR Spotted on Tropical Island
Apr01

April Fools: JMR Spotted on Tropical Island

By Anna Cincotta, About to Stage a Coup on Ben Pontz It was the morning of Sunday, March 15, 2020 when a Gettysburg student recognized Janet Morgan Riggs on a beach in the Maldives. The student, a participant in a semester-long, unaffiliated study abroad experience on the tropical island, said that the former college president was reading A Salutary Influence: Gettysburg College, 1832-1985 under an orange and blue umbrella when...

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April Fools: First Year as President Went Exactly According to Plan, Iuliano Says
Apr01

April Fools: First Year as President Went Exactly According to Plan, Iuliano Says

By Benjamin Pontz, Editor-in-Chief “Had you asked me when I took office last July whether I would have the opportunity to deal with a squirrel cutting power to the entire campus, proclaim ‘Bob Day,’ cut the budget before students even arrive due to under-enrollment, set up an online college, bring students home from abroad, and cancel Commencement all in one year, I’d have said you’re crazy! But thanks to...

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April Fools: 12 People You’re Likely to Encounter on Zoom
Apr01

April Fools: 12 People You’re Likely to Encounter on Zoom

By Garrett Glaeser, Sports Editor The Early Bird – This person has been up since 5:30am. They’ve gone for a run, read the newspaper (yes, a newspaper), showered, and completed next week’s readings before their 8am. Their research paper has been done since February 20 and they’re currently finishing their study guides for finals. You want to be like them but know you’ll never amount to such greatness. 5 more minutes of sleep turns into...

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Student Petition Circulates Calling for Quarry to be Rename Quarryntine College Plans Giant Yard Sale of Items Left Behind in Dorms With Nothing Else to Do, Paula from Bullet Takes over at Lincoln Diner With a Failed Gift Giving Challenge, DAPR Rolls Out GettysburGivesUp Initiative Student Senate Continues to Require all Club Representatives to Attend All Zoom Meetings Breaking: Students Who Did Not Pack Their Dorms Will Be Receiving...

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