EI To Hold Authoritarian Week to Broaden Student Minds

Editors' Note: This satire article is a part of The Gettysburgian's annual April Fools' special edition and is not a real news story.

Staff Report

In an effort to increase diversity of thought and perspective on campus, the Eisenhower Institute announced their newest week of programming: Authoritarian Week. 

“There’s good people on both sides,” said one worker at EI. “We just want the students to experience all kinds of government. Maybe they’ll find that what they see isn’t so bad.”

The programming includes a secret keynote speaker from a country that might be at war with another right now, a workshop on bipartisanship and human rights with a government representative known for violating human rights, and a speaker from a country with no freedom of the press talking about how to spot propaganda. 

“Our main speaker is going to talk to us about their own dictatorship,” said one of the students involved with the planning. “I’m sure they have so much to share about their country that their citizens might not know about.”

One student expressed excitement about the opportunities for the week ahead.

“I’ve always wanted to learn about human rights from someone with an arrest warrant from the International Criminal Court,” he said. “That’s such a unique experience.”

Another student said, “I’m looking forward to the opportunity to stop talking about civil discourse for a week. Let’s hear it from the people that don’t let the other side say anything at all.”

The Eisenhower Institute was excited to host these people in the building President Eisenhower once stayed in. “Historically, they might not like Ike as much as we do, but by the end of the week, maybe they will.”

Author: Gettysburgian Staff

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4 Comments

  1. When does this take place ?
    Open to alumni?
    Thank you

    Post a Reply
    • This is an April Fool’s joke.

      Post a Reply
  2. Ha Ha
    A good one!
    The spoof was thought provoking for a very liberal institution.
    Well written.

    Post a Reply
  3. Please, I’m begging you…remove the lame April fools disclaimers.

    Post a Reply

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