Raccoon Found in Apple Hall’s Laundry Room

Editors' Note: This satire article is a part of The Gettysburgian's annual April Fools' special edition and is not a real news story.

By Laurel Bennett, Features Editor

Last week, a raccoon was found in the laundry room of Apple Hall, which is housed in the basement of the building. At this moment, it remains unclear how the raccoon gained access into the laundry room.

A supposed raccoon wandering Apple Hall. (Photo Laurel Bennett/The Gettysburgian)

The raccoon has also been seen wandering throughout the entirety of the building. 

Campus Safety was not alarmed upon hearing the student complaints that the raccoon was lingering in Apple Hall.

“Growing up, my family had two pet raccoons that lived in our house,” Campus Safety Officer Mon Goose explained. “People should view them as housepets, not wild animals to be feared!”

Officer Pepper Oni echoed Goose’s sentiments. He said, “Maybe the residents of Apple Hall will be cheered up by seeing the raccoon in the building.”

According to a Gettysburgian Investigation, the raccoon was located in Apple Hall for nearly three days before it was forcefully removed with the aid of a pest control company. Apple Hall residents used their own money to pay the pest control company.

President Iuliano has not yet made a statement regarding the discovery of the raccoon in a residential hall.

Author: Laurel Bennett

Laurel Bennett ‘24 is the Features Editor for The Gettysburgian. She previously worked as a staff writer for the news and features sections. Laurel is a political science major and an English minor from Carlisle, PA. Outside of The Gettysburgian, she is a member of the service fraternity Alpha Phi Omega, serves as co-president of Pre-Law club, and is an avid horse-back rider.

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