April Fools: Underground Rushing Continues Online (Remote Hazing Very Effective)
Apr01

April Fools: Underground Rushing Continues Online (Remote Hazing Very Effective)

By Gauri Mangala, Managing Editor Students of Gettysburg College have been extremely active in their advocacy for different student groups that have been affected by the move to remote learning. Acts of generosity and movements of positivity have provided many with hope in a time of much uncertainty, but perhaps students have missed the mark and have neglected a group that has been immeasurably affected by the coronavirus: frats. “How...

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April Fools: First Zoom Concert: It was…a Good Try.
Apr01

April Fools: First Zoom Concert: It was…a Good Try.

By Britney Brunache & Lauren Hand On Friday, the Gettysburg College Choir held its first ever concert via Zoom. Although it was intended to liven up the spirits of the Gettysburg College students and staff, it actually did the opposite. “It was kind of weird watching the conductor wave his baton at a camera,” said one student who attended the Zoom concert. During the course of the concert, one of the performers was muted yet still...

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April Fools’ Opinion: Ranking the 2020 Fiascoes (So Far)
Apr01

April Fools’ Opinion: Ranking the 2020 Fiascoes (So Far)

By Emily Dalgleish, Opinions Editor 2020 has had its fair share of national and global crises– so many that it is difficult to keep track. For that reason, I have created a definitive ranking of the fiascoes of this year from least to most chaotic.  5. Roger Stone sentencing After Stone was convicted of seven crimes, including lying to Congress and obstruction of justice, prosecutors recommended he be sentenced to seven to nine years...

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April Fools: Production of Macbeth Proves that the Show Must Go On
Apr01

April Fools: Production of Macbeth Proves that the Show Must Go On

By Gauri Mangala & Britney Brunache The Spring production of Macbeth has persevered through the coronavirus and has adapted its show to the changing circumstances. The show, which opened last week had a 20 person max seating, as audience members were required to sit with a 6 empty seat radius around them at all times. Virtual programs could be scanned with a QR code to avoid usher-audience physical interaction. The battle scenes...

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April Fools: Renegade Faculty Members Mobilize to Defend Beloved Gazebo
Apr01

April Fools: Renegade Faculty Members Mobilize to Defend Beloved Gazebo

By Jane Fitzpatrick, Features Editor Professors who live in and around Gettysburg have clandestinely joined together and set up a live streaming camera on campus for those of us who are feeling homesick at home.  The camera is focused on our beloved gazebo, a favorite spot for friends, lovers, lonely poets, and procrastinators alike. DPS has removed the camera several times and asked the sneaky professors to stay off campus, to no...

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April Fools: Squirrels are Nut Happy with their Wages
Apr01

April Fools: Squirrels are Nut Happy with their Wages

By Lauren Hand, Magazine Editor Tuesday afternoon, around 4:00 p.m., the few essential employees remaining on campus noted a mysterious noise: “a sort of chirping and scratching,” said Rod Tosten as he came to the end of another busy day of fixing the Moodle.  By 4:15, the sound had become so disruptive that he went to investigate, only to discover that all of the squirrels on campus had gathered on the steps of Penn Hall as a part of...

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