Breaking: Students Wearing Military Uniforms Around Campus Learn that the War is Over
By Arty Fischel On Saturday April 1st, Gettysburg College President Robert Iuliano announced to the campus community that both the Union and Confederacy had reached an agreement for a peaceful resolution following last week’s conclusion of the Halal Cart Accords. When asked for a comment, one veteran of the Battle for a Constitution Lot Parking Spot stated “in my mind, there’s still a war going on.” Still mourning the loss of his...
EI To Hold Authoritarian Week to Broaden Student Minds
Staff Report In an effort to increase diversity of thought and perspective on campus, the Eisenhower Institute announced their newest week of programming: Authoritarian Week. “There’s good people on both sides,” said one worker at EI. “We just want the students to experience all kinds of government. Maybe they’ll find that what they see isn’t so bad.” The programming includes a secret keynote speaker from a country that might be at...
Gettysburg College Rents Out Residence Halls as Airbnbs for the Upcoming Summer Months
By Lauren Chu, Social Media Manager An exclusive Gettysburgian report has revealed that by June 2023, Gettysburg College will begin renting out campus residence halls as Airbnb rentals. President Iuliano addressed this matter in a recent campus-wide email. “Following the Spring 2023 semester, campus residence halls will be transformed into Airbnb rentals in the summer. This decision addressed the low occupancy rates we typically...
Singing Bike Man to Headline Springfest
By Ella Prieto, Assistant News Editor On Friday, it was announced by the Office of Student Activities and Greek Life (OSAGL) that the campus celebrity coined “Singing Bike Man” would headline Gettysburg College’s Springfest. The news comes after the Student Senate’s mismanagement of funds this past year, which has led to fewer resources to pull from for this big event. “While this was not our plan, we are happy that an entertaining...
Giant Magnet Found at Bottom of Quarry Pond
By Victoria Staub, Arts & Entertainment Editor After a series of incidents involving cars and Quarry Pond, Campus Safety, alongside the Gettysburg Police, dredged the pond in search of some sort of explanation. Needless to say, the officers were shocked to find a massive magnet located at the bottom of Quarry Pond. “I definitely didn’t expect for there to be a magnet at the bottom of that body of water,” said Executive Director...
The Bullet Hole to Change Name to G-Spot
By Anna Audia & Bikelyn Mritt The College’s dining center, the Bullet Hole, will be soon changing its name to the Gettysburg Spot (G-Spot for short) due to longstanding controversy. The change comes after long debates from the administration and petitions began by the Student Senate. After a grueling battle, the G-Spot comes out victorious. Students over the years have repeatedly taken issue with the naming of the Bullet Hole,...