New fraternity makes a splash at Gettysburg

Photo courtesy of wikimedia commons

Photo courtesy of wikimedia commons

By Jack Gentes and Alexander Grun, Contributing Writers

Satire

This past weekend marked the kick-off of spring semester rush week here on campus. Fraternities all over campus are holding events for spring rushees to get to know the brothers. With 27 Frats already on campus, Gettysburg’s newest fraternity plans to squeeze out as many activities this week as possible. Their president, Hugh Jassman, is looking forward to all the events and hopes that many people show up. We met with Jassman to learn more about the activities the Frat has planned and found that they all focus on the core ideas of the fraternity.

Monday started off with a bang as the fraternity held the first toilet making competition on campus. The whirl of excitement in Cub 255 on Monday was astounding as a record number of people turned up for the event. 104 people crowded into the room around the 20 guys all competing for the golden plunger. Mike Bottom came away with the win, his victory being heralded by a valiant flush. Pierre Crappe came in second, telling us, “I wasn’t doing too well at the start, but I knew that if I pushed hard enough I would clinch a solid number two win.”

On Wednesday, the fraternity hosted a philanthropy event at the Gettysburg Municipal Authority water treatment plant. Through this event, the rushees learned about how to run a successful business and the importance of providing services to the local community. One rushee told us, “I learned that running a business can often present challenges with no clear solutions; things are not black and white, but instead many shades of brown when it comes to running a business.”

The last event the fraternity plans to hold is scheduled for this Friday, and is promised to be the biggest, loudest and most explosive event in the fraternity’s history. Pi Omega Omicron Pi plans to hold a campus-wide party at the school’s pool. The party will feature musical artist Fetty Plop. However, the fraternity has received some backsplash for planning the party, as many professors like to drop their kiddies off at the pool around the time the party is planned for.

Overall, it sounds like this new fraternity is sitting well with the campus community. While it may take people a while to digest the somewhat odd tendencies of this new group, Jassman says he is sure that the frat’s debut will be a success. As an ending note, Jassman said that next month the frat will be holding its annual soup drive, called the Pi Omega Omicron Pi Nationwide Bowl Movement.

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