Crossword, Mar. 2022 Issue
Made by Carter Hanson // Magazine Editor Edited by Leah Attai This crossword originally appeared in the March 2022 issue of the Gettysburgian. Across Accident Sanctioned individual, since Feb. 2022 Eat quickly Gulf dolphinfish A craze Monitor or Merrimack, for example Brooks of The Producers and Blazing Saddles Wheel hat? “Easy as ___” Not imaginary, briefly Punchable clock Name more common among Republican senators than women until...
College Unveils New DPS Task Force on Marijuana Possession (April Fools)
By Carter Hanson, Magazine Editor Last week, Gettysburg College unveiled the Natural Highs Legion (NHL), which will be tasked with seeking out marijuana possessors and punishing them to the fullest extent of the law. “Marijuana possession is a serious problem here at Gettysburg,” said Alan Wirtz, Executive Director of DPS. “To be frank, we at DPS have had enough of the skunk, and we’ve decided to take action. Serious action.” In the...
Gettysburg’s Investments in Fossil Fuels: Socially Responsible Investing and the Endowment
By Carter Hanson, Magazine Editor Gettysburg College has divested—or withdrawn endowment investments—for a political or social reason only one time in its 190-year history: in 1990, the Board of Trustees decided “to divest of all companies holding an equity investment or physical presence in [Apartheid] South Africa.” In recent years, students have met with College officials to discuss their concerns with Gettysburg’s continued...
The Great Resignation and Gettysburg’s Financial Situation
Introduction By Nicole DeJacimo, Managing Editor The COVID-19 pandemic, an overall decline in enrollment and mass resignations have all contributed to Gettysburg College’s recent financial challenges. In 2021, Gettysburg College ran a $6.7 million deficit caused by a significant decrease in operating revenue. At the same time, net assets grew by $79 million, $75 million of which came from growth in endowment investments, according to...
Editor’s Note: The Financial Issue
I returned from a semester abroad eager for the familiar tastes of my Gettysburg home, only to find Pete’s Paninis shuttered and the dining staff thoroughly thinned. This is not an issue, however, born from nostalgia for the halcyon, panini-ed days of yore; nor is it intended as yet another “if we controlled the gears of the great college machine, we could drive it better” anti-administration diatribe. We wrote this, as in all good...
