Student Senate: 4/1 Meeting

Editors' Note: This satire article is a part of The Gettysburgian's annual April Fools' special edition and is not a real news story.

By Ella Prieto, Managing Editor

Officer Reports 

During officer reports, the Student Senate executive board agreed that they do not say anything of substance during these.

“To be honest, we either wish everyone a good week or mention something is going to happen later in the meeting,” stated the President of the Study Body.

For that reason, no officer reports were given. 

Committee Reports 

Committees continued to beg senators to attend their meetings. 

Chairs of the Opinions Committee expressed the desire to overthrow the College’s administration. Other senators shook their heads and a member of the audience yelled, “Transfer!”

Club Reports & Announcements 

Yet another type of fundraising effort is happening. 

Student Concerns 

The President updated on concerns from last week including a student’s lack of ability to fill out facility forms, another complaint about dining (hot sauce ran out) and that a new type of bug/animal has been seen in a College facility. All three have been “dealt with.” 

New concerns included continuing complaining over last week’s concerns and police presence on campus for the sixth week in a row. 

Budget Requests

The Sock Puppet Club requested $1,000 to attend Pennsylvania’s Sock Puppet Awards. After debate around whether the Senate was funding students or sock puppets, the budget was approved in 

Old Business 

Senators were asked to wear business casual. This seemed to motivate no one to wear business casual. 

Author: Ella Prieto

Ella Prieto ’26 serves as the Managing Editor for the Gettysburgian. Previously, she worked as the News Editor, the Assistant News Editor, and as a staff writer for the News and Arts & Entertainment sections. Ella is a double major in Public Policy and Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies with a Writing Minor. On campus, Ella volunteers with the Casa Swim program, is an It’s On Us Fellow in the Office of Sexual Respect and Title IX, is a member of Alpha Omicron Pi, and is the President of the Panhellenic Council. She loves to read and keep up with celebrity drama in her free time.

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