New Initiative to Showcase The Wiggles at Commencement

Editors' Note: This satire article is a part of The Gettysburgian's annual April Fools' special edition and is not a real news story.

By Cassidy Haines, Social Media Manager

Earlier this week, Gettysburg College administration sent an email to students and faculty that unveiled a new tradition that will begin at this year’s commencement ceremony: the Commencement Community Celebrity Showcase (CCCS). According to the message, this initiative is meant to bring the campus together during the graduating class’s final celebration, so the administrators took inspiration from popular children’s entertainment during the early 2000s and invited the kid’s music group The Wiggles to be the inaugural feature.

After a discussion between the administration on ways to engage the students in today’s popular culture and apply it to their lives outside the classroom setting, they decided to implement what they referred to in the email as “a final consequential imprint from the Gettysburg community,” and “a parting presentation,” and CCCS was born (though the Wiggles are not from Gettysburg).

It was not specified what, exactly, the 50-minute time slot for CCCS will be used for each year during Commencement. Similarly, the email did not specify whether this feature would go to musicians every year, or if it instead is open to writers, influencers or other kinds of “celebrities.” Although the Wiggles will presumably sing and dance during this time, some students have begun to question the effectiveness of this idea going forward.

An anonymous member of the class of 2024 said, “I don’t get it, it feels weird to know I’ll be graduating college and ‘joining the real world’ to the tune of ‘Fruit Salad,’ you know? I’m sure families won’t want to hear almost an hour of it on graduation day either – what’s next year’s guest, KidzBop? I guess I wish we could have had some input, but clearly, it seems like the budget was bigger than we would’ve assumed anyway.”

However, other students see it as a positive, more casual installment to the formal structure of the ceremony. A member of the class of 2025 who wished to remain anonymous spoke highly of the idea: “I think it’s cute! I’m excited for The Wiggles, I saw them as a kid so it’s really taking me back. It seems like it’s just meant to be lighthearted for us. If the administration keeps up with the nostalgia theme, maybe it’ll be The Doodlebops, or something from Disney Channel next year.”

Following the student satisfaction survey about the CCCS released by the Student Senate Executive Board earlier today, the topic is expected to be discussed at next week’s Student Senate meeting, coinciding with President Bob Iuliano and other administrators’ attendance.

Author: Gettysburgian Staff

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