Better Ways to Get Money Than Robbing a Bank (April Fools)
Editors' Note: This satire article is a part of The Gettysburgian's annual April Fools' special edition and is not a real news story.
A visual representation of one student’s value
By Laken Franchetti, Assistant News Editor
Here are better ways to get money than robbing a bank:
- You can get a campus job at places such as Bullet Hole or Servo. Although the average wage for student workers on campus is $7.25 an hour, it would only take a mere 138 hours to reach $1,000!
- Start your own business! There are many odd jobs that could be accomplished on the Gettysburg College campus. For example, people could pay to have others stand in line for them at Bullet. Why wait hours for a sandwich when there is an easy solution? Have people pay you to stand in line for them! Of course, Bullet Hole would have to be open for this to occur.
- Borrow from a friend, especially those who are working on campus. They should be willing to spare their $7.25 an hour to help a pal out.
- Rent your unused space! No one needs all of the extensive space that Gettysburg dorms provide. Offer to house other’s items in exchange for some money.
- Offer to take other people’s Gettysburg surveys. There is an abundance of emails from administration, facilities, and more departments about filling out surveys relating to the campus. Some people sadly may not be able to complete all of the surveys despite the campus’ great enthusiasm for and wonderful track record with these surveys. Get paid to take these surveys so that other students can feel accomplished!
Best of luck in your pursuit of money! Be sure to avoid robbing banks.
