98% of the Class of 2022 to Accidentally Graduate with a Minor in Peace and Justice Studies (April Fools)

Editors' Note: This satire article is a part of The Gettysburgian's annual April Fools' special edition and is not a real news story.

By Phoebe Doscher, Editor-in-Chief

An exclusive Gettysburgian report reveals that nearly every student in the Class of 2022 will graduate with a minor in Peace and Justice Studies.

“The results are unbelievable,” Registrar Brian Reese said. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

Reports show that Peace and Justice Studies Director Hakim Williams has sent hundreds of emails to students alerting them that they have all the requirements to minor in Peace & Justice Studies.

“Dr. Williams has probably written ‘I checked your course history and you have all 6 courses to complete the minor’ hundreds of times each semester,” Reese continued.

Williams has begun to recruit incoming students to become Peace and Justice Studies minors, and the Registrar is expected to consider transferring over AP credits.

Needless to say, the class of 2022 is full of accidental peace and justice experts.

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Author: Phoebe Doscher

Phoebe Doscher ’22 is the Editor-in-Chief of The Gettysburgian. She formerly worked as Magazine Editor, News Editor, Assistant News Editor, Staff Writer, and Copyeditor. She is an English with a Writing Concentration and Theatre Arts double major. On campus, she is an intern for Gettysburg’s Communications & Marketing Office, the president of the Owl & Nightingale Players, and the News Director for WZBT, serving as the co-host of The Gettysburgian’s podcast On Target.

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1 Comment

  1. This is really funny and I am just a parent of a student.

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