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13 Places Safer than FIJI Basement on Friday Night: Number 11 will Shock You!

Posted By Joshua Wagner on Apr 1, 2018 | 1 comment

Editors' Note: This satire article is a part of The Gettysburgian's annual April Fools' special edition and is not a real news story.

(Screengrab from OSAGL fundraising video)

By Josh Wagner, Opinions Editor

The backstreets of Baghdad
I-95 on foot at 2:00am
Smyser Parking Lot without a Carlisle St. parking permit
A pit of vipers
Donald Trump’s Cabinet
OJ Simpson’s bedroom
The DMZ between North and South Korea
An Egyptian ballot against Sisi
Putin’s stable
The extras’ dressing room on the Cosby Show
Hanson basement
Ron Wiafe’s office
A coastal city in 30 years

April Fools’ Edition

Author: Joshua Wagner

Josh Wagner '19 is a chemistry and mathematics double major who enjoys bike rides on the battlefield and waving around a red pen as the Gettysburgian's Managing Opinions Editor. When not editing for the Gettysburgian, he can usually be found working in the College Life Office, helping students with calculus as a PLA, or studying in the library.