Facilities Merges with CGE in New “Center for Facilitating Global Education” (April Fools)

Editors' Note: This satire article is a part of The Gettysburgian's annual April Fools' special edition and is not a real news story.

By Sarah Daniels, News Editor 

On Wednesday, April 1st, Gettysburg College’s Facilities Services and the Center for Global Education announced their merger, which will be completed this summer.  

Following suit with the Residential Education and OSAGL (Office of Student Activities and Greek Life) merger taking place over this summer as well, the two offices look forward to messing up the status quo.  

“We cannot wait to confuse students,” said Jennifer Coale, the Director of Facilities Services and Communications, “In partnership with the ResEd and OSAGL merger, we hope that having our two offices merge in theory but keep separate physical locations will really make everything cohesive.” 

Brita Doyle, Director of the Center for Global Education (CGE), speaks to her excitement. “This partnership will be legendary. We hope that other offices will soon follow suit to achieve maximum workload on Gettysburg employees. I believe that the mailroom is considering a merger with the Civil War Institute (CWI), which would set an exciting precedent.” 

Students are ready to see another acronym enter the Gettysburg ecosystem, especially this member of the class of 2027. “I think it’ll make it easier to kill two birds with one stone. I was just thinking to myself that I’d love to remember another big list of letters, especially as a tour guide for Admissions!” 

Author: Sarah Daniels

Sarah Daniels works as Content Manager team for The Gettysburgian, in addition to writing for the arts and entertainment section as a staff writer. Sarah is a history and political science double major from Cedarburg, Wisconsin. On campus, she is a ResEd community advisor, a campus ambassador for the Women’s Network, and the Spirit Coordinator of the class of 2027. In her free time, Sarah enjoys shopping, collecting stamps, reading and cooking.

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