By John Buford, Fake Writer
In a recent campus-wide announcement, the Office of Student Activities and Greek Life (OSAGL) announced that the College will open a nightclub on campus for students and faculty. This announcement comes in light of the recent success of the College’s campus bar, which opened in late January, offering students free alcoholic beverages served by their peers.
The nightclub, named the “Lincoln Lounge,” will offer students free specialty drinks at its mixology bar. These may include but are not limited to the “Bullet Bender,” the “Pennsylvania Punch” and the “Musselman Mule.”
The nightclub, the email explained, is intended to supplement the existing bar as part of a new initiative to provide students with a “consequential intoxication.”
The two locations will be managed by the newly established “Office of Student Iniquities and Nightlife.”
The nightclub is planned to be built over the summer in Plank 116, the current office of the Gettysburgian student newspaper. This will again displace the College’s oldest student organization to another office, after it already had to relocate from Plank 103, which is now the site of the campus bar. While the location of the new Gettysburgian office remains uncertain at this time, the College is considering spaces in the attic of 25 S. Washington Street (the former Education House), the shed at the Painted Turtle Farm and a spare utility closet at the Gettysburg Hotel as potential options.
Brandy Kegs ’26, expressed his concerns over the nightclub’s possible impact on his campus fraternity, Alpha Alpha Alpha.
“Seems like the College has been trying to make a monopoly on campus debauchery; first with the bar, and now this. I don’t know how our parties are supposed to compete,” Kegs said. “Unlike the College, we don’t have the financial resources to offer the same amount of free alcohol for the student body, not with our commitment to philanthropy and community service.”
In addition to a mixology bar, the campus nightclub will also feature a cigar lounge and hookah next to the dance floor.
The announcement also mentioned that should the nightclub prove successful, the College is also considering the creation of a campus casino on the lower level of the Musselman Library.
