Postcard from Abroad: On Learning About Myself
Ella Prieto ’26 at the Berlin Botanical Garden. (Photo provided by Ella Prieto)
This article originally appeared on page 10 of the No. 4 February 2025 edition of The Gettysburgian magazine.
By Ella Prieto, Staff Writer
BERLIN, Germany — As soon as I walked into my CIEE Berlin dormroom on my first day of study abroad, I burst into tears. Truthfully, it was far from the first time that day — I cried on the plane when the flight attendant informed me there were no more vegetarian breakfast sandwiches, and then again on the floor of the Berlin airport while waiting for the bus, desperate for a chance to fill up my water bottle. Clearly, the dehydration had gotten to me. But also, I’m a bit of a crybaby. Anyone who really knows me can attest to my inability to hold tears in, something that has travelled with me my whole life.
So on that first day of study abroad, I really wished I wasn’t crying. And as the days went on, the list of my ‘really wishes’ increased. I really wish the sun would come out. I really wish I was better at pronouncing German words. I really wish I didn’t feel so lonely. I really wish that club didn’t reject me. I really wish I had some Annie’s Mac and Cheese.
Obviously, some are sillier than others, and thus easier to brush off. But the ones that spoke to a deeper side of me peppered with insecurities, made me feel like I had regressed to the first-year version of myself. The one that hated her emotions and would rather assume everyone disliked her than actually try to make friends.
Window view at CIEE Berlin, located in the Kreuzberg neighborhood of the city. (Ella Prieto/The Gettysburgian)
Luckily, I am not my first-year self, and I happened to be in a city full of people who felt they did not belong, yet made a home here. And Berlin itself truly welcomes you through all its eccentricities. During an orientation day, one of the wonderful CIEE staff members shared a quote from a former mayor of the city. “Berlin ist arm, aber sexy,” translating to: “Berlin is poor, but sexy.” That quote really spoke to me, and I started to see how it could apply to myself. Sure, I was a little emotionally all over the place and hadn’t eaten a vegetable in four days, but I could still have fun and feel great about myself (especially once I finally found a vegetable to eat).
As I filled my days with vintage shopping, learning to cook a few German staples, and taking yoga and Zumba classes, I slowly began to not just experience Berlin, but immerse myself in it. And that’s the core of what studying abroad is. Sure, it makes for some amazing stories and cute pictures, but it also provides the opportunity to discover who you are in a completely different setting, allowing you to know yourself better. Though I am only roughly a month and a half in, I am so much gentler with myself than I was before. I’m embracing all the “embarrassing” parts of myself, the crybabyness and more.
So my biggest advice to those studying abroad in their future is: be prepared to learn about not just another culture but yourself as well. While that can be scary, it’s freeing, especially in a place you’ve never been before. Don’t push down your emotions, marinate in them. It will make your experience so much richer, and even at times when you may feel down (or poor), just remember, you’re sexy. 🙂
