Breaking: President Iuliano Offered Book Deal Following Recent Set of Emails

Editors' Note: This satire article is a part of The Gettysburgian's annual April Fools' special edition and is not a real news story.

By Laken Franchetti, News Editor

(Photo edited by Eric Lippe/The Gettysburgian)

(Photo edited by Eric Lippe/The Gettysburgian)

College President Bob Iuliano has been given a book deal from the publishing company Simon & Schuster. Iuliano will write a series of three books, and the first is said to be titled “The Guide to a Consequential Education.”

Simon & Schuster President Jonathan Karp expressed his excitement at the book deal.

“I am thrilled to say that Bob has joined the Simon & Schuster family,” Karp said. “I cannot wait to hear about how Gettysburg College offers a consequential education for its students. I’m sure that students across the U.S. could benefit from a series like this, and the students at Gettysburg College could never possibly tire from hearing about their education.”

The deal comes after the publishing company was made aware of Iuliano’s ability to write a lengthy amount in his emails to the campus community.

“We believe that Bob will be fully capable of completing three books,” Karp said. “Perhaps we will even expand the book deal if he realizes that he can write more. I would not be surprised!”

Gettysburg College’s 14th President Janet Morgan Riggs was also a contender for the book deal, yet Iuliano was granted the opportunity in the end.

“Given what I have heard about his emails, I suppose he will be able to hit the word count very easily,” Riggs said.

Iuliano is looking forward to the opportunity to further detail the education that students receive at Gettysburg.

“It is something I don’t often say, but our students truly get a consequential education here at Gettysburg College,” Iuliano said. “I plan to focus on how students can do great work, increase their devotion to the unfinished work of our nation, and answer Abraham Lincoln’s noble call.”

Students reacted to the book deal news.

“Let me guess,” Nicholas Ferry ’23 said. “The book is going to be about our consequential education, isn’t it?”

“If I can read through his emails, I suppose I can read through a 300 page book,” Lisa Chambers ’25 said.

Author: Laken Franchetti

Laken Franchetti ’24 serves as the Editor-in-Chief for The Gettysburgian. She has previously served as News Editor, Assistant News Editor and as a staff writer for the news and arts and entertainment sections. Laken is an English with a writing concentration and history double major. On-campus, she is the Editor-in-Chief for Her Campus, the Nonfiction Genre Head for The Mercury and a user services assistant at Musselman Library. Laken is also a Lincoln scholar and spent the Fall ’22 semester abroad in London and Lancaster, England. In her free time, Laken is an avid film fan and enjoys reading.

Share This Post On

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *