CUB Desk Manager Calls it Quits (April Fools)
(Photo by Aly Wein/The Gettysburgian)
By Dicole NeJacimo, Staff Writer
CUB Desk Co-Manager Nicole DeJacimo ’22 quits just five weeks before graduation: cites “Gettysburg Address joke” as the main reason.
“It’s just too stressful of a job,” said DeJacimo, who was found scrolling on Pinterest before the interview. “I can’t handle one more student asking me where the bookstore is!”
DeJacimo also referenced the “Gettysburg Address joke” made by nearly every tour guide who explains the college post office where students get their very own Gettysburg Address.
Although she loved her job when she first started her sophomore year, when the CUB closed at 2 AM on the weekends, she said the pressure to speak in a customer service voice has drained her. DeJacimo’s voice did noticeably jump three octaves when she answered the phone like a 9-5 Kristen Bell.
“We’ll be sad to see her go,” said an anonymous CUB desk staffer. “She was always there to remind us not to laugh at the parents who call to fix their adult child’s problems at college.”
The former manager has strong hopes that her staff can survive until the end of the semester.
“I have given them the skills they need,” said DeJacimo. “God speed, ladies.”
