Sunderman Strings Win Heart of Rabbit, Set to Open for Sammy Adams

Editors' Note: This satire article is a part of The Gettysburgian's annual April Fools' special edition and is not a real news story.
(Photo courtesy of Gettysburg College)

(Photo courtesy of Gettysburg College)

By Alex Pearson, Staff Writer

“Step right on up, folks. Come on up to the podium,” came the voice of the announcer. The crowd of participants and spectators shuffled forward. Earlier last week was a surprise announcement by the Music Department that student groups could have an opportunity to open for Sammy Adams at Spring Fest if they could successfully complete a secret task.  The crowd was full of talented students, all of whom were anxiously waiting for the event to begin.  One singer could be heard  humming scales under her breath. The Sunderman Strings could be heard discussing their set list and tuning. A flautist nervously ran his fingers over his instrument, smiling gently.

“Okay folks,” called the speaker at the podium. “Here is what we are going to do: there is a black magician hat sitting on stage. Whoever’s music entices the Easter Bunny out of the black magician hat gets to perform at Springfest.”

The challenge incited most musicians to begin practicing with renewed fervor, but other musicians allowed themselves a moment of relief. “This will be easy,” scoffed one singer. The commentator heard her and chuckled. “Don’t be so sure,” he reprimanded her. “You never know how tricky Easter Bunnies can be.” The singer crossed her arms and tossed her hair. “Whatever,” she muttered, before being asked to perform first.

She strutted to the stage and began singing an aria that would have human audiences on their feet. However, the black magician’s hat began to shake uncontrollably and a plaintive cry emitted from the depths. The commentator ushered the singer off of the stage and raced over to the hat. He mumbled soothing words to the frightened creature within and set the hat back further on stage.

He nervously flattened his hair and turned back toward the waiting musicians. “Who’s next?” he asked.The flautist raised a trembling hand. “Excellent,” announced the commentator. “Come on up.” The flautist tiptoed on stage and began a pianissimo piece, that was sweet and melodic. When he was finished, the audience clapped and he bowed, but the rabbit did not make an appearance.

The commentator tiptoed over to the hat and peered inside. “The Easter Bunny is sleeping,” he stage-whispered. The man was clearly distressed at the dwindling prospects, but the Sunderman Strings grinned at each other and asked if they could go next. The commentator ushered them onto the stage and wished them a fervent good luck.

The members huddled together and whispered briefly in each others’ ears. They beamed as they readied their instruments. Sunderman Strings played a rousing version of ‘Here Comes Peter Cottontail’ and got feet stomping and hands clapping and cheers going. It was exciting!

The rabbit appeared to be of the same opinion because the hat began to wriggle. There was a set of ears with a hat set jauntily upon it. There was a little pink nose, snuffling in curiosity. And then the Easter Bunny jumped out of the hat and began to hop along to ‘Here Comes Peter Cottontail.’ The commentator threw up his hands and announced, “We have a winner! Sunderman Strings will be opening for Sammy Adams at Springfest!”

April Fools Special

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Author: Alex Pearson

Alex Pearson '21 intends to double major with a Bachelor of Music in Vocal Performance and a Bachelor of Arts in Spanish with a minor in English focusing on Creative Writing. She intends to join choir as well as get involved in community service and Spanish-related activities. Follow her on Twitter @alexpearsonstar and on Instagram @smilealexpearson.

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