Netflix to Cancel ‘Stranger Things,’ ‘OITNB,’ and Other Originals to Update Company Image

Editors' Note: This satire article is a part of The Gettysburgian's annual April Fools' special edition and is not a real news story.

orange-new-blackBy Jacqueline McMahon, Staff Writer

In a shocking turn of events, the popular streaming service Netflix has announced that it will be pulling the plug on many of its beloved original programming, including popular shows like Stranger Things, The Crown, House of Cards, and Orange is the New Black, in order to revamp the company’s image. “It’s a new era for Netflix, and right now we really want to focus on what we think is the future of this company.” Netflix executives explained in an official statement. “While people may be unhappy with this decision right now, eventually they’ll see that we’re giving them things they didn’t even know they needed – like ten more seasons of Iron Fist.”

The aforementioned superhero show currently has an impressive score of 18% on Rotten Tomatoes.
This surprising decision comes on the heels of controversy for Netflix, following the reveal that The Crown’s Claire Foy was actually paid less than her co-star Matt Smith, despite the fact that she is the central character of the show. “It’s just become a liability,” the Netflix statement explained about the show’s cancellation. “When women start demanding things like the money they deserve, that’s really crossing a line. Everyone knows that men should get paid more for doing half as much!”
Now, Netflix plans to create even more original programming with media juggernaut Marvel Comics, in hopes of riding the wave of Black Panther-induced hype without actually having to come up with good ideas. “We’re going to be creating great original programming about superheroes that have been ignored by the media for far too long.” Netflix says. “3-D Man, Bird Brain, Asbestos Lady…these are the unsung heroes of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.”

Netflix refused to answer when asked if Asbestos Lady would be paid the same as her male counterparts.
Only time will tell if this decision works in Netflix’s favor, though there is a possibility that subscribers may be jumping ship for Hulu or Amazon very soon. After all, viewers can only stand a white protagonist doing a poor rendition of martial arts for so long.

April Fools’ Special

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Author: Jackie McMahon

Jackie McMahon '21 enjoys writing OpEd and A&E articles for The Gettysburgian due to her strong opinions about everything and her borderline unhealthy obsession with television. In her free time, she likes to binge-watch shows on Netflix, post on her Tumblr blog, and attempt to write a novel. She is passionate about feminism, cats and anything with chocolate in it. Her ambition is to someday become a best-selling novelist or a journalist.

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