First-Years are clueless
By Noelle Zimmerman, Contributing Writer
You may not know us personally, but you definitely know that we are First-Years. We have “clueless” tattooed across our heads. When we try to hide our confusion, we usually end up tripping or dropping all of our books or walking into the wrong ENG 101 class, because we did not realize we accidentally walked all the way to Dickinson College instead of Breidenbaugh Hall.
Since First-Years like myself are clueless, I decided to ask some lovely sophomores, juniors, and seniors how they spot us. And I have to say, we are even more lost than I had originally thought. You know someone is a First-Years when they stare at their phone the whole time when walking somewhere, because they are afraid to be seen alone. When they finally look up from their phone, they are too afraid to make eye contact with anyone for more than a split second. First-Years typically look “shiny and new” because the college workload still has yet to hit them like a truck. Although First-Years are not allowed to go out yet, they sneak into frats and take flash photos, wear their lanyards, and “dress like the Vineyard Vines whale puked all over them.” Not to mention the biggest sin: First-Years showing up before the party starts and crashing mixers. Apparently that is a big no-no.
Admittedly, I have done some of these things. I used a campus map to find my French class yesterday, and I sometimes travel in packs, especially for Rice 2 family dinners at Servo. That is Servo by the way, not “the dining hall” as some First-Years say. So yes, we are clueless. But we are supposed to be clueless. It is okay to try to use your meal plan at the Bullet; it is okay to eat alone if your friends have completely different schedules; and it is okay to walk to class by yourself.
It is not okay to pretend that you have everything figured out. First-Years are not cool, and if you try to be cool, nobody is falling for it. Respect the upper classmen, respect the faculty and staff, and when you make a typical First-Year mistake, simply laugh at yourself, because we are all clueless.
Shout out to Samantha Misurell ’17, Marni Smith ’17, Gibby ’18, Vera Ekhator ’19, and Haley Skinner ’19 for your amazing examples.