Care Bear Cares: Do you tell when you know someones cheating?
Dear Care Bear,
I met this guy at a party a couple weekends ago, and we hit it off so exchanged phone numbers and have been texting each other since. However, when I friended him on Facebook, I got a sense from looking at some of his pictures that he might in fact have a girlfriend. He is not listed as in a relationship, but there are recent pictures tagged of him and a girl and they are clearly more than friends. I just met the guy, but if I am the other woman in the situation, do I have any obligation to tell this girl (whom I don’t know) that her beau is a cheater?
Sincerely,
The Other Woman
Dear TOW,
I am getting the sense from your description of the situation that you do not know for certain that this guy is in a committed relationship. Consider factors such as: if the pictures are from before winter break, perhaps they are no longer together. If you really like this guy and he continues to pursue you, then don’t worry about what “might look like this or that” unless you know for sure.
How to minimize the drama? If you were to ask her or one of her friends what’s up, you might find out they are not together anymore, but she would be uncomfortable, you would be uncomfortable, and he might be creeped out. I would not worry about it, and if you and this guy become closer, you’ll probably just find out that he broke up with a girl right before break, or you’ll feel more comfortable asking each other about your romantic pasts. Whatever happens, know that you did nothing wrong here, though it doesn’t hurt to be a little cautious.
Your friend,
Care Bear
If you’re dealing with a problem with classes, friends or anything else on campus, odds are someone else at Gettysburg is having a similar problem. So rather than confide in your parents or reliable best friend, why not publish your personal problems for all the world to see!? It’s like when you go up to your professor with a question, and he or she insists that you ask so the entire class can hear in case other students have the same question. My name is Caroline, and, hey!—I care! If you have a problem relating to school, friends, relationships, etc., go ahead and over-share. I will keep your identity a secret, and I might even be able to help! Email me your questions at rubica01@gettysburg.edu and I will answer a different question every Monday! Help me to help you. Let’s start over-sharing.
