Ask Aunt Izzie: Being the “other woman” is never a good idea

Posted By Jennifer Kiebach on Nov 12, 2012 | 1 comment

Dear Aunt Izzie,

I have a really big crush on this guy and he has a girlfriend, but he’s expressed interest in me. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Potential Homewrecker

Dear Potential Homewrecker,

Back away from this guy. No more texting, calling, Facebook messaging, Snapchatting, or any other form of communication. I guess if you see him around and he waves to you, you can wave back. But nothing more than a wave, not even small talk.

In movies being the other woman can seem exciting, and offers chances to saying things like “she doesn’t understand him like I do!” or “I love him for who he really is, she just likes him for his looks!” But it’s not glamorous or exciting or anything positive.

Think of every “man cheats on wife with secretary” scandal you can. In this situation YOU are the secretary, the secretary who got hired for the kind of credentials that don’t appear on a résumé. And nobody takes the time to empathize with her. They just label her a temptress, harlot and other, less stilted adjectives.

If the thought of being judged isn’t enough, consider the fact that YOU are the homewrecker here. You said it yourself. Even if this guy is flirting with you like crazy and leading you on while keeping his girlfriend, he’s just one the homewrecked.

You on the other hand get the pleasure of becoming slut of the week, and you’ll spend your 15 minutes of fame getting dirty looks and hearing whispers from everyone and anyone who knows the girl you stole from.

My stance on this is pretty harsh, but haven’t you ever heard “once a cheater always a cheater?” The sad truth, PH, is this guy might leave his current girlfriend for you. And he’ll leave you for the next potential homewrecker just as easily. You say he’s expressed interest in you, but has he expressed interest in leaving his currently girlfriend? I’m willing to bet he hasn’t, because guys that have girlfriends but express interests in other girls are nothing short of scumbags.

Don’t let yourself become a harlot over some scumbag. I guarantee he isn’t worth the judgment.

Izzie Gibson Penrose, class of 2016, has 18 years of advice to give. She loves telling people what to do (but doesn’t take offense if they don’t listen) and lives as strange a life as possible so she has plenty of anecdotes to share. Izzie also enjoys making jokes and baking cupcakes. Email her with questions, concerns, or anything LITERALLY ANYTHING that’s on your mind at gibsis01@gettysburg.edu. She promises to read every email she receives at least once, probably six times.