Musselman Library Introduces Library Prime

Editors' Note: This satire article is a part of The Gettysburgian's annual April Fools' special edition and is not a real news story.


Library Prime Logo_April Fools

By Musselman Library

Starting on April 1, 2018, Musselman Library will be offering students an elite research subscription service: Library Prime.

For a low rate of $19.81 per month, Library Prime members will receive longer checkout periods, expedited interlibrary loan deliveries, and priority use of library computers. No more waiting in long lines at the printers before class – Library Prime moves your print jobs to the front of the queue! Subscribers can also have library staff pull their desired books off the shelves for them, and for a nominal extra fee, someone will read the content to them.

Library Prime members will have exclusive use of new “library campsites” – special study spaces with all the office supplies and necessities that make studying as painless as possible. Need hot chocolate, coffee, or tea in the middle of the day? Then subscribe to Library Prime! Members will have unlimited access to the library’s coffee cart.

There’s more! The first FIVE students who subscribe to Library Prime for a full year will be awarded their own personal librarian. The personal librarian will offer around-the-clock research services, citation checks and study snacks!

To sign up, stop by the Research Help Desk and ask for Library Prime service today!

April Fools’ Edition

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Author: Gettysburgian Staff

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