By Sarah Laud, Staff Writer
On March 30, Tim Mosseau visited Gettysburg College to present “Retaking Our Story: Reframing the Conversation on Sexual Violence.”
Mosseau has spoken at over 300 institutions around the nation. In his talks, he displays sexual assault through the lens of storytelling. He believes it’s a different, and needed, approach to talking about sexual assault.
He began by emphasizing the power of storytelling. Personal stories define people and stick with them. Stories told also stick with others. The problem is that some people want to forget these stories, even if they encapsulate so much of who they are. In general, everyone has a different story. People have all different experiences and tell their stories differently across what they are talking about and to whom. The importance of storytelling is that they fuel change in society. Mosseau said that we need to “use stories to get people to care.”
“Sexual violence in every form is preventable,” Mosseau said. If no stories are created around it, stopping offenses will be impossible.
Mosseau went on to talk about his own experience with sexual assault when he was a college student. Specifically, he recalled the moment when he told someone his story. That’s when he knew that stories invoke the emotion needed for meaningful change. Ever since then, his mission has been to try to change the way sexual assault is talked about because how it is expressed now is not working to change the system. And sometimes, by the talk sexual assault is talked about, it is often too late.
One in four to one in five students will experience some sexual assault by the end of their college experience. Those who target others want authority. They control the past, present, and future of someone’s life and anything made against someone is something made against their identity and dignity. 66% of the LGBTQIA+ community will experience sexual assault on a college campus. On small college campuses, students get to know each other better, see them more often, etc. In these communities, abuse is common towards those who may not have publicly identified as part of the LGBTQ community.
4-10% of the population are perpetrators, sometimes repeat offenders. As such, in 80-90% of incidents that occur on college campuses, the survivor knows their assailant. The perpetrator often knows their target well enough to know their routine and behavior. These assailants know how to catch their target off guard in order to take advantage of them. “Sexual violence is being perpetuated to people we know by people we know,” Mosseau said.
Mosseau outlined perpetrators as three kinds of populations: predators, those who are taught wrongly by their community, and those who do not have education or have not received enough education on consent.
Mosseau went on to talk about the specifics of socialization that play a major role in sexual violence.
“Sexual violence is a man’s issue,” Mosseau said.
90% of incidents that occur in our country, regardless of gender, the assailant is a man. Men are taught from a young age that they are to display three emotions: happiness, sadness, and anger. However, happiness and sadness are only allowed during certain circumstances in the private sphere. Men are taught that anger is ok and should be expressed in the public sphere. As such, things that are taught at a young age are hurting the general public.
Socialization, where people are taught cultural norms, sets the foundation for how humans act and behave as they get older. When people leave home and come to college campuses, they have more freedom to express what they are taught in a new environment without as much constraint. The language used around talking about sex matters because, according to group psychology, people will normalize those behaviors in real situations. Specifically, when people use derogatory or violent language when talking about sex they tend to then implement those terms into their actions.
The American education system, also an agent of socialization, is to blame as well. If how people talk about sex matters, how they are taught about it does too. Schools are often required to have a sexual education program. However, these, too, are corrupt. Mosseau said, “Good sexual education programs tell kids how to put on a condom on a fruit. Most likely a banana.” The United States needs to instill more comprehensive sex education programs.
Consent is one of the biggest issues in the education system because it is not talked about in primary sexual education programs. “Consent is complex,” Mosseau said. Most people treat consent like a checkbox. However, consent is not simple nor is it always easy to understand at the moment. People often forget that in sexual scenarios, the other person is a human being. As such, the human body will always respond to external stimuli and it is important to pause, reflect, and gauge the situation at hand.
The more conversations that are had, the more tools people have to equip them. In fact, since 1990 certain forms of sexual violence decreased by half because the way people approach sexual assault has changed. College campuses and individuals need to continue to reflect on the kind of environment they are creating and the behaviors they reinforce.
Survivors’ environments are crucial also. People need to center, support and believe survivors. However, can’t force a survivor to do anything because that is further taking away power from them. Ask questions such as: What can I do? How can I help you? How can I support you through this? What are things you may need from me after this? Survivors can feel both isolated and suffocated, so when a community is small, keep things as private as possible. There are things survivors do as a coping mechanism beyond the incidence. There is no set path to healing. However, bystander intervention starts small and that is what should be emphasized.
