Student drops cup at Servo, forced to transfer
By Julia Sippel, Staff Writer
On Sunday, March 20, a sophomore student was eating brunch in the dining center when his life changed forever: he dropped his cup.
Per admission standards, he is now required to transfer schools, much to his dismay.
“I just wanted chicken and waffles,” said the visibly distraught student, who wishes to remain anonymous at this time. “I never wanted this to happen….”
The student was clearing his silverware from his tray when the fatal drop occurred.
An eyewitness told The Gettysburgian: “I was waiting for my boyfriend to get some ice cream when I saw [name omitted] returning his tray. As he reached to put his silverware away, his arm hit his cup and it clattered to the floor.”
According to the reliable source Yik Yak, this is the second such incident this semester.
As long-time Bullets already know, these offenses are taken quite seriously here at Gettysburg College.
At the sound of the drop, surrounding students and staff were silenced and turned in its direction.
Simultaneously, the Servo Secret Service (SSS [pronounced “Triple-S”]) arrived on the scene.
Dressed in all black, the SSS took the unnamed student to the kitchen area.
One of these masked crusaders said of his experience: “This happens from time to time. We just took the kid to the back of servo and scanned his ID. His information then goes straight to the registrar and he is immediately unenrolled.”
When asked about his future plans, the student in question was uncertain. “I might go to Dickinson. I really like Aerosmith, so I might major in Geology.”
Despite the incident, he remains positive.
“I had never thought that I would be the student to drop a Servo cup. I’d always heard horror stories but I never took them seriously enough. I guess I’m meant to be a Dickinson Red Devil and not a Gettysburg Bullet.”
Whatever his path, we wish this student luck. To the remaining Gettysburgians, a word of wisdom: do not drop your cup in Servo!
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