Dear Aunt Izzie,
I’ve been here almost a month and I don’t feel like I’ve really found my place yet. What can I do?
Sincerely,
Struggling First Year
Dear Struggling FRESHMAN,
Contrary to what you might see in college-inspired movies or pictures posted on Facebook with captions like “new best friend,” lasting friendships are not made in a month, and certainly not in an orientation weekend. So if you haven’t found your niche quite yet, don’t panic.
While you’re not panicking, join a club. Join seven clubs! That’s right, I give the same advice as the people at the activities fair. You are bound to find at least one person you like in a club you’re interested in, and weekly or bi-weekly meetings force a minimal amount of healthy human interaction.
Ask people in class with you to get lunch, or study together. Don’t be afraid of putting yourself out there because the alternatives (loneliness and a lot of weekends spent with your only friends, Netflix and chocolate) are much worse than someone telling you they already have lunch plans.
Get to know the people on your hallway. Do not waste time judging them or worrying that they won’t like you. Maybe your neighbors are totally hilarious and love karaoke and maybe the people across the hall have a thousand inspiring stories and cookies to share with you but you won’t know until you make a conversational effort beyond “hi.”
I know being in a new place is hard, and you want to seem cool and make a good first impression. But don’t be afraid of being yourself. Yeah, your mom said it to you before you left, and she was right! Eventually the “new” personas that people create during the first few months of freshman year fall away and all that’s left is who you really are. Let people see it now and you won’t have to do any backtracking later.
If you are still unhappy at the end of the semester, considering transferring. Don’t worry about what your friends from high school will say or how to explain it to your parents, because at the end of the day your happiness is the most important thing. And if you need a lunch buddy let me know, I’ll take any chance to visit the new soda machines at Servo!
Sincerely,
Aunt Izzie
Aunt IzzieIzzie Gibson Penrose, class of 2016, has 19 years of advice to give. She loves telling people what to do (but doesn’t take offense if they don’t listen) and lives as strange a life as possible so she has plenty of anecdotes to share. Izzie also enjoys making jokes and baking cupcakes. Email her with questions, concerns, or anything LITERALLY ANYTHING that’s on your mind at gibsis01@gettysburg.edu. She promises to read every email she receives at least once, probably six times.
