Aunt Izzie: “Dumbing Yourself Down”
Dear Aunt Izzie,
I really like this guy but I think I’m too smart for him. Should I dumb myself down so he’ll like me?
Sincerely,
Too Smart for Dating
Dear TSFD,
No.
Honestly I could leave it at that, but I’ve got space to fill so I’ll elaborate. No, you should not ever dumb yourself down. No, you should not pretend to be someone you’re not to get a boy (or a girl! This applies to everyone) to like you. Even if you succeed in your charade, five years later you’ll still be pretending not to understand the difference between “their” and “there,” and no guy is worth that.
What makes you think this guy wants you to be stupid? I know that Danny Zuko didn’t want stubborn Sandra Dee; he wanted ridiculous leather pants wearing Sandy. But in the end they headed off in a flying car didn’t they, so let’s not put too much stake in what we see in the movies.
Maybe, and I know this is not what you want to hear, he doesn’t like you for other reasons. Are you the kind of “intellectual” who likes to let people know how smart you are by constantly correcting their grammar? Do you condescend to people who don’t agree with you? Is reading 18th century poetry your number one hobby and topic of conversation? If the answer to any of these questions is yes he probably doesn’t like you not because you’re too smart but because you’re sort of terrible.
But if he does want you to dumb yourself down, if he is so insecure in his own intelligence that he only dates girls who say “for all intensive purposes” or “it’s a doggy dog world,” than the only stupid person in this situation is him. This boy should like you for who you are because who you are is probably pretty great. Surprisingly enough I did not steal that last sentence off a Dove chocolate wrapper.
Cheesiness aside, it is 2013 and women can vote and own property and file for divorce and we have come too far to sit back and smile and nod when people say stupid things. Embrace your intelligence, TSFD. The alternative too stupid for considering.
Love,
Aunt IzzieIzzie Gibson Penrose, class of 2016, has 18 years of advice to give. She loves telling people what to do (but doesn’t take offense if they don’t listen) and lives as strange a life as possible so she has plenty of anecdotes to share. Izzie also enjoys making jokes and baking cupcakes. Email her with questions, concerns, or anything LITERALLY ANYTHING that’s on your mind at gibsis01@gettysburg.edu. She promises to read every email she receives at least once, probably six times.
