Care Bear Cares: Moving on from a high school relationship
Dear Care Bear,
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly three years, and when we went to different colleges this fall, we decided to try and make long distance work. I’m loving Gettysburg in every aspect, but he isn’t having as much fun at his college, and he wants to talk constantly. Of course I miss him, but he is constantly wanting to talk on the phone and Skype about how unhappy he is, and then he makes me feel weird for saying that I’m happy. What’s worse is he gets paranoid when I tell him I go out to frats, and I have to constantly reassure him that I don’t dance with other guys. Things were always so great between us, but now this is getting annoying and I’m afraid to let go.
Sincerely,
High School Sour-Heart
Dear HSSH,
Be prepared: I am going to go cliché on you. A lot of relationships end not because you don’t care about each other anymore, but because your lives head in different directions and the relationship becomes too difficult to nurture. It sounds like your boyfriend isn’t enjoying college for his own reasons, and finds it difficult that you can’t empathize. You should not feel even remotely guilty for being happy at college. However, it is clear that you two are not only in different physical places, but you are also in different places mentally and emotionally. If you were both happy or both sad, it might be easier to be happy or sad together, despite the distance. If physical distance has brought about emotional distance between you two, I would think about where you feel you are headed and talk to him.
Your friend,
Care Bear
If you’re dealing with a problem with classes, friends or anything else on campus, odds are someone else at Gettysburg is having a similar problem. So rather than confide in your parents or reliable best friend, why not publish your personal problems for all the world to see!? It’s like when you go up to your professor with a question, and he or she insists that you ask so the entire class can hear in case other students have the same question. My name is Caroline, and, hey!—I care! If you have a problem relating to school, friends, relationships, etc., go ahead and over-share. I will keep your identity a secret, and I might even be able to help! Email me your questions at rubica01@gettysburg.edu and I will answer a different question every Monday! Help me to help you. Let’s start over-sharing.
