No more clowning around

Photo credit: cliparts.co

Photo credit: cliparts.co

Satire

If you have not yet heard about all of the clown sightings that are being reported across the country, you better keep reading. People dressed as scary clowns have been appearing on college campuses, elementary and high schools, in the woods, and pretty much everywhere for a reason that is overall unknown. On social media, some anonymous clown accounts threatened people adding that: “If the children cannot run fast enough, say good-bye”. These clowns have been spotted with baseball bats and more, and they have also been caught on film chasing people or staring at them through their dorm room window. However, they have also been caught on film running away from us. That is right, we are chasing them back. A clown was spotted at Penn State, and a video was released of the clown being chased up a tree. Shout out to Penn State for starting a war against the clowns! Check out World Star Hip Hop for more videos of people stopping clowns.

Why are people doing this? For the most part, the clowns are not actually killing or hurting people. A few ideas are circling around as to why these clowns are doing what they are doing. The most believable theory, in my opinion, is that for some reason these people simply enjoy “cos-play”. They find it fun to see how scary they can be. Another idea is that they are doing this as some sort of stunt for a movie or a social experiment. The last idea is that these people are seriously clowns and they are coming to get us. Just kidding, kind of. No matter what the explanation is, these clown sightings need to stop. Making people fear for their lives by putting them through a living nightmare should not be a source of entertainment. For your safety, make sure to travel in big groups especially at night. If you see a clown, report it. If you want to take a more exciting approach, Google “how to beat a clown”. I would list some examples that I found with my roommate and floor-mates last night when we were all freaking out at 1 a.m., but they are slightly violent. Here is a joke for the clowns: What is the gooey red stuff between an elephant’s toes? Slow clowns. Take that.

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Author: Web Editor

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