Just some small talk
By Stephanie Harrington, Opinions Columnist
There are some days when I just don’t have much to say, when I spend most of it quietly in my own thoughts. Just sitting is quite nice, not having to speak to anyone just because they are there. I hate having to force conversation just because I feel that I have to. This often happens at family parties when I have to speak with that cousin I only see once a year, just speaking nonsense small talk just to fill the space with us. That kind of talk is exhausting, absolutely draining. After forcing a conversation between someone, I feel my energy level growing dimmer and dimmer.
That of course is my introversion hard at work. All of this depends on my company. With good friends I can be very animated and excited to be engaged in whatever it is we are doing. Going to a meal together, playing a video game or simply watching TV. All of these things I am content to do. On the other hand, large crowds and groups of people overwhelm me. I don’t know how to act in those situations, and in those moments I retreat back to my introversion because it’s safe there. After long periods of being in large groups, or being forced to make strained conversation, I become tired. And then because I am tired, I become irritable with every passing second that delays me from recuperating in solitude.
For instance, this past Christmas, my family and I had an event everyday for a week leading up to Christmas day. We had parties and dinners to attend, and then of course family functions on both Christmas Eve and Day. By the time it was the 24th of December, I was constantly frustrated because I was never able to just spend time by myself and recharge my batteries if you will. I would snap unjustly at my mom or sister, just because I wasn’t able to do that.
I am sure my fellow introverts will understand this. We can partake in extroverted activities and even sometimes be extroverted ourselves, but that has a breaking point. We must go back and simply be alone. Like I said, I like not having to say anything sometimes. If I am by myself then I can just sit in the silence and rest. And there are those lovely friends with whom you can sit in comfortable silence and just be.
I think what wears me down the most is, as I said before, the small-talk. I find it pointless and depending on the person, I don’t care about their answers. That sounds bad, but I have to believe that I am not alone. Small talk is a mere courtesy, and apparently something that Americans frequently do to be polite. Another reason it is trivial is the fact that this politeness makes us a bit two-faced. We ask someone how they are even when we hate them and couldn’t care less, because it would be rude not to.
Don’t get me wrong, being polite is good, and people shouldn’t be rude. However, if we don’t watch ourselves, I think that this being too polite can make us fake, which I would really.
If I had it my way, I wouldn’t make small talk at all, but because I’ve been brought up all my life to follow these societal conventions, I abide. I would much rather if things were simpler. Say what you mean, mean what you say. That should be a universal rule that everyone follows. It would really be much easier. This way, relationships and conversations with people wouldn’t be muddled by “How’s the weather?” and “That’s a cool pen,” but instead actual conversation. If I were engaged in actual true conversation then maybe some interactions with others wouldn’t exhaust me as much.
But of course, for an introvert like me, nothing really beats sitting quietly by myself, reading a book or shuffling around on a playlist of songs. That’s where I can just be me, and not be obligated to say a single word. And sometimes, that’s just bliss.
