By Arman Walia
First I want to say my bad for not posting last week. I was too busy doing schoolwork and trying to stay away from newspapers. Anyway, a lot of people have been asking me to do an advice column on library etiquette, mainly the first floor, so here you go. First off, if you want to do actual work, do not go on the first floor. Walking to the back tables is like a girl walking into a mixer on time, all eyes on you. Everyone’s eyes go up just in time to see the weekend’s mistake then back down to the refreshed Facebook page. Bottom floor is great to print if you don’t want that awkward encounter on the first floor when the guy in front of you prints 100 pages of nonsense. The second, third, and fourth floor are for the workers, if you want that 4.0, you know where to go.
There are some unwritten rules that should be obliged by every student on the first floor. First, laughing hysterically out loud is just trying to get attention. Don’t flatter yourself, everyone thinks of you as the person whose cell phone goes off during a movie. Second, if you are going to the library and you’re by yourself, DO NOT sit at a 4-person table. What are you trying to prove here? You and your invisible friends need to get up and go to a desk. Third, if you think leaving a water bottle or a notebook at a table is supposed to save it, you are out of your mind. People who do this should lose all declining dollars so you can’t get your mocha frappe expresso macchiato con leche to start the mornings (iced of course). There is nothing worse than seeing a table with only a book and a pencil on it. I hope after everyone has reads this rule, it will not be an issue anymore. Another thing, watch what you look at on your laptop. Stalking someone when they are right behind you is just asking for awkward encounters. Lastly, don’t go to Bullet and bring the food back. No one wants to be studying and smelling your tuna sandwich and hearing you slurp down your diet soda. I hope everyone has a great day and remember, Moose Knows.