Tour Guide ‘really excited’ about Gettysburg, assures parents Greek Life ‘not that prevalent’

The Office of Admission was pleased with the reception of Schaefer's tour. Photo courtesy of gettysburg.edu

The Office of Admissions was pleased with the reception of Schaeffer’s tour. Photo courtesy of gettysburg.edu

By Jamie Welch, Web Editor

Parents and prospective students alike confirmed to reporters Tuesday that they were “very impressed” with the tour of campus offered by the Office of Admissions that started at 11:02a.m. on March 29. Veteran tour guide Rob Schaeffer ‘16 was responsible for showing the guests around campus, and all who were on the tour agreed that his enthusiasm and dedication to the school really stood out.

“He only had the nicest things to say about Gettysburg College,” said prospective member of the Class of 2020 Vanessa Beaver. She added, “I am not sure I have ever seen someone quite so excited about anything before.”

Vanessa’s mother Rhonda Beaver commented that she was most impressed with Schaeffer’s ability to recall random facts, such as the year that Glatfelter Hall was constructed, the exact number of steps to the front entrance of Pennsylvania Hall, and the extremely low percentage of students in Greek Life, which she assured reporters was not fabricated in any way. “He just seemed so trustworthy, I’m sure he would not give me misleading information,” Rhonda commented, “He had an honest face.”

“Greek Life is not a big deal here,” Schaeffer reportedly told the tour group; “There are so many other things going on on campus every weekend for those who do not want to party, I cannot even name them.” Schaeffer, who is a member of Phi Delta Delta fraternity, shared that his Greek organization rarely parties.
“We are really focused on the community service and philanthropy more than anything else. I know it says on Yik Yak that we have keggers every night of the week, but do not believe the negative stereotypes,” he added.

Commenting on the amazing variety of activities available in town, Schaeffer said, “There is literally so much to do in the town. I am pretty sure that there is less to do in Manhattan on a Saturday night than there is here on an average Tuesday.”

Other tour group members were impressed with Schaeffer’s club participation record. “He told us he was in, like, 60 clubs,” one student commented. “I am sure he is definitely not lying about his involvement on campus.”

“I did not think it was possible to be involved in both Football and Cross Country while also triple majoring in Chemistry, English and Physics, but this kid has managed to do it,” father of two Dennis Carper said. “He is a real straight shooter.”

At press time Schaeffer was fielding the fifth question about underage drinking on campus from a concerned parent. “It doesn’t happen,” Schaeffer replied matter-of-factly, with murmurs of satisfaction emanating from all parents present.

April Fool’s Day Special

Author: Jamie Welch

Jamie Welch '18 served as editor-in-chief of The Gettysburgian from May 2016 to May 2018. Jamie also served as the webmaster and as a staff writer for the features and news sections. He graduated Magna Cum Laude with a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science and a minor in Business. Follow him on Twitter @welchjamesk.

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